


Two Men and a Baby: Brunch in Milton Keynes

by Spring_Haze



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Dan and Phil World Tour 2018: Interactive Introverts, Established Relationship, Fluff, Friendship, Future Children of Dan Howell and Phil Lester, Inspired by a Vlog, Longing, Love, M/M, POV Dan Howell, POV Louise Pentland, POV Phil Lester, Parenthood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-26
Updated: 2019-05-26
Packaged: 2020-03-17 13:25:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18966127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spring_Haze/pseuds/Spring_Haze
Summary: Dan and Phil are thrilled to see their long-time friend while on tour for Interactive Introverts. Both men share their thoughts on becoming parents one day upon meeting baby Pearl for the first time. Louise shares her observations as well.This short story is inspired by Louise's vlog and Instagram stories from May 2018.





	Two Men and a Baby: Brunch in Milton Keynes

**Phil**

We’re having brunch with Louise in less than an hour.Seeing our friend has been one of the loveliest parts of being in Milton Keynes. Althoughshe came to see us in our dressing room before the show yesterday, it wasn't nearly enough time. The last time we saw her was in late September, or was it early October? Either way, it has been far too long.

Today we are finally meeting baby Pearl. Dan is so excited that he can hardly sit still. He thinks that I don't know how much he wants this, but he is mistaken. I know exactly how much he wants this, and I am not talking about playing with our friend's baby; I am talking about having one or two of our own.

Most people think that Dan is too selfish to be a father, and it hurts me deeply. If they knew how selfless he is, especially with me, they would swallow their words whole.

Having a family is Dan's dream; it happens to be mine as well. When we are done traveling the world next fall, our family will begin to take shape. We will buy our home and begin filling it with dogs and babies.

Dan was only eighteen when we met, but even then, I could see him as the father of my children one day. I told him so when we had only been together seven months. It was a bold thing to share after such a short amount of time, and most people would find it presumptuous, but it's how we've always been. We’ve never been shy about our attraction, our feelings, our desires, or our intentions. Dan's response? He had been thinking the very same thing about me.

Dan can't sit still. He's sitting on the edge of the mattress, jiggling his left leg up and down. He is ready to leave, and for once I’m the last to get ready.

"Phil, hurry up, will you? You look gorgeous; stop fussing." He giggles a bit and stands. I feel his long arms around my waist, and I can see his chin on my shoulder as I look into the mirror. We smile.

"You're really excited about this aren't you?" I put my hands over his.

"It could be us in a year." Dan smiles. "Can you imagine?" He pressed his palms together, as if in prayer and closes his eyes. He looks so precious. I know how deeply his desire runs.

"Yes. I  _can_  imagine. I have been imagining for a long time, Dan." I kiss his cheek and pull him close. He smells so good, and he feels so soft.  


* * *

Being with Louise has always been good for us. She has been a trusted friend for as long as I can remember. Any child that she has had a part in creating is sure to be loved by us.

Dan is absolutely bursting. He sees her first, though I am a few steps ahead of him.

"Oh my God," I hear him gasp.

 

**Dan**

It's a good thing that we got to see Louise yesterday, because right now, all I can think about is her beautiful baby girl in the buggy. Phil actually reaches her first, but I am close behind him.

She is so incredibly tiny; she is so unbelievably perfect.

We've seen photos and videos, but baby Pearl is even more precious in person. I briefly wonder if I have ever seen a more beautiful baby.

I haven't.

Louise giggles at my response. I know that Phil is anxious to hold her; we talked about before falling asleep together last night. He's a bit nervous about the whole thing, especially since Louise will be filming.

“I will be crushed if she cries as soon as she's placed in my arms," Phil confessed late last night.

“Impossible Phil. Just relax and be yourself. Babies can sense tension, so just breathe. I'll be there.' My words seemed to soothe him. He kissed my shoulder and pet my hair. We fell asleep with our foreheads pressed gently together.

Louise recommended this cafe, and it’s definitely our kind of place. We order breakfast: Phil gets pancakes, Louise orders Huevos Rancheros, and I go for eggs and toast with spicy salsa.

I'm completely fixated on the way Pearl looks at her mum. Louise rightfully boasts about the baby's good nature. She doesn't fuss; she allows old friends to visit while observing her own, tiny, little hands carefully. She's discovered her fingers, and I begin to wonder if I was ever so easily appeased.

I can feel Phil shift beside me when Louise lifts baby Pearl from her buggy. She's up on the table now, and I can see her perfect little body at last.

I have the urge to touch her soft, blonde hair, which lays atop her unblemished head like downy feathers. Her skin is light and creamy like Phil's, and her eyes are blue and bright (also like Phil's). She is such a beautiful child, and I consider for a moment what it would have been like to carry her - to carry any child.

Phil and I have talked about it before. Biology has betrayed us. To create and carry our own child would be the most amazing, beautiful thing in the universe. I abandon the thought because I can feel the burn in my chest and an empty ache in my belly for a womb that I don't even possess.

Phil and Louise are talking now, something about the amount of food babies eat, and I can only focus on this tiny human. I want to know what she is thinking. It's strange to think that she can hear our voices but not understand our words. She can already read our body language, but her responses are limited. I wonder if she understands and experiences frustration because her desires exceed her language. How did I ever manage without the language on which I rely? I'm a talker, a communicator, and if I am restricted in any way, I panic. I was always babbling, always gesturing, and according to my mother, always into something.

My mind, despite my efforts, keeps drifting to that place; again, I am imagining our child. Would he or she have my skin? Phil's bone structure? My curly hair? His beautiful blue eyes?

I know that Phil and I will have this conversation later. I know him well enough to know that these things have already crossed his mind.

 

**Louise**

I've asked Dan if he would like to hold Pearl, but he seems a bit distracted. Phil and I exchange knowing looks; he's gone off to that place again. Phil giggles fondly, and I smile at the pair of them. I have loved them for so long.

Dan's smile is even bigger than his eyes. 'Yes, please,' he says, reaching for the baby with his long arms. I'm filming now, and I keep the camera on Dan to capture the moment that I will want to watch later. What I really want to see with my own eyes is Phil's reaction to Dan holding her.

This I can't film; it is too private and too precious. It would give everything away if I were to show Phil's face right now.

I have known these men since they were boys. I have watched themgrow personally and professionally, as individuals and as a couple. They are, without a doubt, soul mates and two of the loveliest people on Earth.

Phil has me feelingratheremotionalat the moment. He is looking at Dan with such softness, such unmistakable  _fondness_. I've seen him cry only once before, but I recognize the look in his eyes. I shift my eyes back to Pearl to give my dear friend some privacy.

Dan looks so happy holding her. This is completely natural for him, despite what others may think. Dan is a loving, sensitive, and gentle soul who has an unlimited capacity for love. I always laugh a bit at the irony of his branding; he is as gentle as he is beautiful.

Philip has managed to regain his composure. He is smiling, and giggling, and playing along, watching Pearl grasp his partner's long finger. I know the both of them well enough to know that Phil wants this for them. I can see it in his eyes. We've certainly talked about the future before. Marriage has been on the table for years, and most recently, there have been hints to a home and children as well. My boys are growing up.

I ask Dan if he thinks that he can pass little Pearl off to Phil, and he smiles and feigns concern. This is one of the many ways that they tease one another. My heart nearly bursts as I watch Dan pass my infant daughter to his partner. There is such love between them, and for a moment I feel as though I am watching two new fathers share their own child. I look away but keep my camera rolling. I need a moment.

 

**Phil**

My heart catches in my throat as I hear Louise ask Dan if he would like to hold the baby. I'm not ordinarily accustomed to showing my emotions in public or on camera. We are three friends in a cafe, in a semi-private booth, sharing brunch and a baby. Still, this is a vlog, and I need to stay in control of my reactions. If it were just the three if us, I may openly cry tears of joy seeing Dan holding Pearl. I notice that Louise has the camera on Dan only, allowing me a moment of privacy. I am touched by her discretion, and I wonder how we got so lucky.

He is so happy. 'Hello,' he coos in that sing-song voice that he uses with children and animals. My heart lifts, and I clutch my chest to keep it from my heart from escaping. Tears instantly sting my eyes and threaten to expose me for the man that I am when I am Dan's. I am always Dan's, but there are varying levels of comfort depending on who we are with and where we are. Our secrecy has nothing to do with shame, embarrassment, or even our careers. This is about protecting what we hold sacred. I am proud to be with Dan, and I can't wait to tell the world that we are a forever family.

It has been years since I have seen him hold an infant like this. I had almost forgotten the way that he has with babies. Warmth spreads throughout my body at their natural interaction. He is so big, and she is so unbelievably tiny. Still, she looks up at him with all the admiration she can hold. She feels safe, and she already knows that he can be trusted. I felt the very same way the first time I was held by Dan.

Pearl responds positively to his voice, his natural, soft voice. It is the one that soothes me and delights me. Pearl wraps her little hand around Dan's finger, and he giggles softly. I look down to see her dimpled little fingers gripping him, and I close my eyes, committing to my memory like a photograph. I will call upon it later.

 

**Dan**

Like Phil, baby Pearl has a scent that comforts me. It is unlike anything I have ever smelled. She is softness; she is pure. She is part of Louise, and for that, I love her deeply.

She is as comfortable with me as I am with her. She doesn't fuss, or wiggle, or fall limp in my arms. I feel her entire hand wrap around my finger, and Louise is asking me how it feels. “Comforting,” I say.

What I mean is that it feels so good and so natural to be holding the precious baby next to the love of my life. For a moment, it feels as though we have a baby of our own and we have gone to brunch with one of our closest friends as a family. Soon, I remind myself.

_Soon._

I don't need to look at Phil to know that he is also feeling emotional. He once told me that he could see me as the father of his children. We were only together a short time then, seven months to be exact. The admission may have frightened any other nineteen- year-old, but it made my heart rise. I confessed that I already had the very same notion about him. We laughed, and we smiled, and if we had been face to face in that moment, we would have kissed. It was probably our earliest allusion to family, and I will never forget the solidness moving forward.

Louise is so in tune with me and Phil that she knows it would be a mistake to catch Phil's reaction to my holding Pearl on camera. She has seen for herself, and she too looks away. She is our most thoughtful, intuitive friend, and I already know that she will try and do the very same for me.

Phil's knee touches mine under the table. I can't meet his eyes, not now. If I do, it will be the end of Louise's vlog. If I do, it will be tears and “please, Phil.”

'Do you think that you can pass her on to Phil?' Louise asks. I have been anticipating this moment just as much as I have holding her for myself. I make a face to tease Phil and everyone watching.

We laugh at Phil's nervousness and I turn to face my partner. He looks so beautiful right now, so soft and excited. This is the Phil I know so intimately. He wants this. I am not just talking about holding Pearl at long last; he wants a family with me.

Our tour is just beginning, and it will go by too quickly, wrapping us up like a whirlwind. When the spinning stops, there will a wedding, and a home, and a family.

Phil giggles sweetly as I place the baby in his waiting arms. We have four hands on her, and Louise films us as we work it out. I fix Pearl's sweet dress and tickle her little tummy. She is looking up at Phil, her blue eyes wide and peaceful. I understand her reaction to a man so perfect, so unbelievably perfect.

Our hands brush, and I linger. I can't help it. It feels so right.

Louise admits to feeling emotional, and for a moment, I think it's all over. I giggle to mask my own reaction, but it may not be enough.

Our friend is honest; it is one of her best qualities. She has said before that she can edit words and crop frames, but there is no way to cover what we have between us. “They just know. You know that they know. They know that you know that they know.”

We laugh and Louise promises a jump cut. She stops filming entirely and we relax a bit more. The waitress clears our plates, and Phil accepts our check.

Louise begins to shake a bottle of milk and remarks that we will be amazing dads. She doesn't press further.

Everyone deserves a friend like Louise. Phil and I are so lucky to have her in our life together. I look forward to the day that we can tell her our own news, and it will be her turn to celebrate our family.

The ride back to our hotel is quiet, but not without communication. Phil has my hand in his lap, stroking it softly. He is looking out the window at passersby, some singletons, some families, some couples, and an occasional group. He brings the back of my hand to his lips and kisses me softly.

I smile at him, but he doesn't see me. He is still looking out the window, though I can see his reflection in the glass. His smile is even bigger than mine. I watch a single tear fall from his left eye as the images flash by. He doesn't even wipe it away. Another one falls.

I move closer and lay my cheek on his broad shoulder. My head fits perfectly into the space between his neck and his chin. He hums contently.

I lift his hands to my face and kiss his fingertips. I hold them there and close my eyes. I kiss them again and again before resting our hands together in my lap.

I used to think that maybe I wanted this more than Phil, but now I am not so sure. He is ready; I am ready.

Right now we are having the time of our lives traveling the world and making people happy. This time next year, we will be having the time of our lives making each other happy.

Our children may not come from our bodies. They may not even come from one of us. It doesn't matter. Our children will be our children because we want them so badly. They will be ours in every way that counts.


End file.
